The Reasons Behind Men’s Withdrawal… And How You Can Harness His Strong Yearning for Commitment!
Maggie was taken aback. Rick had completely swept her off her feet during their first two dates. No other man had ever put in so much effort to win her over.
And win her over he did. He was considerate, polite, kind, and deeply interested in her.
But just when she realized she had developed feelings for him…he disappeared.
Suddenly, the tables had turned. Overnight, she found herself trying to grab his attention.
What is the reason behind men’s actions? What causes them to reject women?
While not all men withdraw when things start to get intense, it is a common occurrence.
As a dating and relationship coach, I often hear this question from women I work with.
It seems that many men put in a lot of effort to win a woman’s affection, but once they succeed, they lose interest.
Why is this?
Let’s face it, dating can be tough. It may be thrilling and enjoyable, but it can also be anxiety-inducing.
In the beginning, it’s all about the chase. He’s trying to catch your attention, and you’re deciding if he’s worth your time.
This is the stage where both parties are caught up in the pursuit and not giving much thought to what comes next.
Eventually, the chase goes in a different direction.
After realizing your interest in the guy, he now has to contemplate a genuine, committed relationship.
Is this something he desires? It’s highly probable, otherwise he wouldn’t have pursued you.
However, the desire for a relationship and the courage to actively pursue it are separate matters.
So, what should you do?
Let me start by telling you what you should NOT do.
Stay away from these two common mistakes
Firstly, do not automatically assume that the situation is about you. It is highly likely that it has nothing to do with you. He had already developed feelings for you before you even realized your own feelings for him. And even now, he still has those feelings for you.
Secondly, do not pressure him. This is where many advice columns miss the mark. They often suggest playing hard to get, or something similar.
Instead, let him know that you are interested in him. However, be mindful not to suffocate or rush him (such as bombarding him with text messages every hour on the dot).
Why do men tend to distance themselves and push women away during this stage of the relationship? It could be due to nerves. He may be feeling anxious about giving up his freedom of choice.
Stay true to the woman he fell in love with, don’t change
In the pursuit stage, his drive stems from his desire. However, once he realizes the potential for something genuine, his motivation shifts.
Suddenly, he becomes preoccupied with the sacrifices he may have to make and the changes in his way of life. (Many men have an unfounded fear that committing to a woman will make them lose their masculine activities.)
When he behaves this way, there is no need for you to alter your behavior.
When he becomes distant, the best approach is to remain composed and at ease.
Be the woman he fell in love with – carefree, confident, and available. Avoid overreacting, as it will only push him away.
Do not demand his attention, as it will make him run in the opposite direction.
And do not panic that he may have noticed a flaw in you, as this negative thinking will only make you less attractive.
Adopt a Positive Outlook at All Times
He eagerly pursued you during the initial dates, hoping to win your affections.
He took a risk, stepping out of his comfort zone. Now, it’s your turn to reciprocate.
Allow him enough space to feel at ease, while still showing your interest.
A man who truly desires a mature and genuine relationship will overcome any fears once he sees there is nothing to be afraid of.
And if a man is not ready for a real relationship, he was not the catch you believed him to be.
However, before you settle into a passive waiting state, I have a tip that can quickly reignite his fervent pursuit.
It is perfectly fine to be patient, but if you want to give your relationship a boost, here is my recommended approach…
If He Ignores You, Give This a Shot…
According to survey research, men prioritize being respected over being loved.
This desire is ingrained in our DNA, leading us to feel the need to earn respect as a way to become deserving of love.
As a male dating coach who primarily works with women, I understand how strange this may seem.
However, it is a truth that can give you an unfair advantage when it comes to men.
Knowing this, you can use it to your advantage. If you tap into a man’s strong desire for respect in a positive way, he will go above and beyond for you.
This can ultimately lead to him envisioning a long-term, committed relationship with you.
His preferred method for gaining your admiration?
His desire to be a hero is embedded deep within him. He yearns to be the one to rescue you, solve your issues, and demonstrate his value.
Although it may not be considered romantic, this characteristic is ingrained in his very being.
That’s why I’ve created a video to delve deeper into this concept, allowing you to access his hero instinct whenever you desire, even if he’s currently seeking space.
Don’t hesitate to click here and make this technique your own before it slips your mind, as it has the potential to significantly change your relationships with men.
References:
Harry’s Masculinity Report 2018 s3.amazonaws.com/harrys-cdnx-prod/manual/Harry%27s+Masculinity+Report%2C+USA+2018.pdf – Men are happiest when a part of something where they feel needed and valued.
Anderson, Cameron & Hildreth, John & Howland, Laura. (2015). Is the Desire for Status a Fundamental Human Motive? A Review of the Empirical Literature. Psychological bulletin. 141. 10.1037/a0038781. – Male need for respect.
Gender Differences in Implicit Self-Esteem Following a Romantic Partner’s Success or Failure,” Kate A. Ratliff, PhD, University of Florida, and Shigehiro Oishi, PhD, University of Virginia; Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, online Aug. 5, 2013. – Men have lower self-esteem when their partner succeeds and they fail (i.e. they don’t feel needed/irreplaceable).
Canevello A, Crocker J. Creating good relationships: Responsiveness, relationship quality, and interpersonal goals. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2010;99(1):78-106. doi:10.1037/a0018186 – Showing him you believe in him and he’s the one for the job.
Reis HT, Lemay Jr EP, Finkenauer C. Toward understanding understanding: The importance of feeling understood in relationships. Social and Personality Psychology Compass. 2017:11(3):e12308. doi:10.1111/spc3.12308 – You value his point of view and abilities.